People Who Annoy Me And Entertain Me At The Same Time

The Elevator Whisperer

The elevators in the building where I work are ridiculously slow and simply not appropriate for the amount of traffic the building sees daily.  However, there are little digital numbers between the elevators, indicating which floor each elevator is currently on.  Basically, just reminding you that there’s no way in hell you’re going to be on time for work.  Waiting for these elevators is annoying and kind of frustrating, especially at 9 in the morning, so everyone is pouting, anxiously shifting their weight from one foot to another.  That is when the Elevator Whisperer makes himself known.  It starts with louder-than-average sighs.  These are not the exasperated sighs we’re all guilty of letting escape when we’ve just had enough already.  This is a dramatic “I-hope-someone-hears-this” sigh.  Then they start rolling their eyes with their entire person.  This happens mid-weight-shift and also involves rolling their head.  This is often accompanied with another audible sigh.  Then comes my favorite part: the angry mumbling.  This varies depending on the level of annoyance of the aggressor.  Sometimes it’s just “Come ON!”.  Occasionally, “Are you KIDDING me?!”  Whatever the actual phrase is, it’s always entertaining to me to watch someone go from the normal level of impatience we all bear to this seething rage they can no longer control.  I often want to inform the person that they are wasting their energy, because (sadly) elevators do not respond to whining or complaining. No matter how obvious your frustration, or how loud your grievances, the elevator will not speed up for you.  Promise.

The Subway Grumbler

This person is similar in almost every way to the Elevator Whisperer, with the same progression of anger, with minor changes.  It begins when the train is stopped for longer than about 45 seconds in between stations.  The verbal portion doesn’t begin until after the first announcement, “The train is being held momentarily by the train’s dispatcher”.  Then, every further announcement (often identical to the first, it’s purpose solely to remind you that they are indeed aware that the train is not moving and they have not forgotten there are people with destinations on it) brings tongue-clicking and head-shaking.   These people will occasionally try to make eye contact with fellow train-goers to have them join in their irritation.  Perhaps, if EVERYONE on the train got obviously aggravated all at once, the train would mystically no longer be delayed.  When they try to make eye contact with me, I tend to just smile that smile you give to people who step forward to try to open a door even though the crowd of people near said door makes it obvious it’s locked.  I shake my head before looking back down at my iPod or book or whatever else I’m using to entertain myself during this train delay, hoping they can read my silent message that they are wasting their energy being so negative.

The People Who Forget We’re All Going To The Same Place

These people have been annoying me my entire life.  It started in elementary school.  We would be lining up to go to music class from our homeroom class.  All of a sudden there would be a mad dash for the line, people pushing and shoving and “cutting” and screaming and “telling” on each other.  It was mass chaos. Every time.  Chaos I didn’t understand or participate in.  I was often at the back of the line, because I didn’t mind being there.  We had assigned seats in music class [and art class…and library…and there weren’t even CHAIRS in gym class], so it’s not like they were fighting to be in the front to get the best seat.  I guess I could understand wanting to be in the front of the line on the way out to recess, because you’d have a better chance of getting a swing.  And I love swings.  My classmates didn’t seem to realize the uselessness of their fighting though.  For some reason, being in the front of the line was some kind of amazing privilege.  I always took a silent pleasure in the times when the person in the front of the line ended up having to hold a door open for the rest of the class, thus leaving them at the end of the line.  Sadly, this overwhelming need to be first in line didn’t end in grade school.  Even now, in adulthood, people will pitch a fit if someone tries to “cut” them in line to join their friends.  My favorite is when this happens at an event for which there is assigned seating, like concerts or Broadway shows.  Really? You’re going to sit in the same seat whether you’re first or last in line, so what does it matter if you get IN the theatre first?  I never understood it, and I guess I never will.

Okay, I guess basically what this post is boiling down to, is that I hate when people complain and bitch and moan when there’s really no need to do so, and doing so will not actually accomplish anything.  There are in fact some cases where “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”, however there are also occasions where there is no way your words or body language will solve the problem.  So really you’re just spreading your negativity around for no reason.  Make light of annoying situations, find amusement in unfortunate circumstances – meditate for all I care!  Just stop the nonsense.

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~ by Valerie Anne on 10/13/2010.

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