A Day In The Life

These things have really happened to me. All of them have happened more than once. Really. Yes, there is the odd caller who does something weird or stupid; but that’s one person, one time.  The following conversations, or ones shockingly similar to them, have happened on multiple occasions with a variety of different callers.

“Good morning, Company.”
“Hello, is this Company?”

First of all, what did I just say? If you were listening, you will know that this is, in fact, Company.  Second of all, who did you call?  You were obviously aiming for Company, so why do you sound so curious as to whether or not this is Company?  You should have been listening for the word “Company” to confirm your dialing was correct. This question should not be necessary. I speak clearly.

That one’s not half as bad as this one though:

“Good morning, Company.”
“Who is this?”
“…This is Company.”
“Do you like…make kitchen stuff?”
“…Yes. Among other things.”
“Oh. Okay. Can I talk to…”

WHAT?! First you don’t listen, then you DARE ask me questions about what we do?? WHY ARE YOU CALLING IF YOU KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT US?!

The next one might just be a pet peeve…but I’m pretty sure it’s just people being stupid.

“May I please speak to Sally Jane?”
“Sure, may I ask who’s calling?”
“This is Jenny Juniper”
“Are you calling with a company?”
“Yes.:”
“….”
“…..”
“What company?”

I suppose this one is partially my mistake for phrasing the question as a yes or no instead of skipping right to, “What company are you calling with?”  I tend to go with that one more often now to avoid being reminded at the stupidity of some people.  Why on earth do you think I was asking? Because I was curious? Or logging business related calls vs. personal calls? No. I’m asking because I clearly need to announce the call and would like as much information as I can get before doing so.

I appreciate the people who answer the question “May I ask who’s calling” with their name and company all in one shot.

I also love it (and by love it I mean despise it with my entire being) when people don’t take a breath before giving me their entire (often boring or annoying) spiel.  I am the person who answers the phones, what makes you assume I am the one who will be able to help you directly with what you need? Wouldn’t you rather give me cliff notes and make sure I’m the one you need to speak to before wasting your energy and everyone’s time? What planet do you live on in which random innocent receptionists WANT to hear about how your sink mat that you loved so much got destroyed when your sewage backed up? Not this one, that’s for damn sure.

I don’t even understand how these people come to call us, since we’re the corporate office.  There is a number next to “customer service” on our website and it is not ours.  In fact, our number is not listed anywhere on the website.  The only thing I can think is that they Google us, and our number pops up next to our office address.

Either way, I’m sure the receptionist at Customer Service doesn’t want your entire life story either.  I’m sure she wants only enough information to direct you to the proper party.

Though that’s just speculation.  I suppose it’s possible she would enjoy that.

There are more. Hundreds more, it seems. I’m sure I’ll share them eventually. I’ll also share those little gems that only happen once, but are hard to forget.

Yesterday, at lunch, we were talking about a crazy man who may or may not be on drugs who has been calling over the past few days.  A coworker said to me, “You know, I used to be annoyed that people can’t reach us directly. Now? I’m SO glad we have you as a filter.”

Pssh. I’m sure you are.

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~ by Valerie Anne on 01/21/2011.

2 Responses to “A Day In The Life”

  1. I feel for you. The general public are nothing if not odd!

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