Gleecap 2.13 – Comeback

Regresar.

We open with Will teaching his class about this word. Literally, to return.  To come back.

Though I have a feeling the Spanish speaking nations don’t use “regresar” as a noun in the way we do “comeback”.  I haven’t heard anyone saying, “Ricky Martin no debe tratar de hacer un regresar.” But, I suppose it’s possible.

Will is ready to make a comeback.  He’s ready to move on after his crushing defeat in the battle for Emma he was in against Uncle Jesse.  However, in true form, JUST as you’re ready to get over them, they come busting through the door. In Emma’s case, literally.  She says it’s an emergency: Becky Jackson found Sue’s journal and read the last entry in which she claims that she is going to commit “Sue-icide”.  They rush to Sue’s trophy-laden home only to find she had only ingested an inordinate amount of gummy vitamins.  Besides being utterly depressed, she is fine.

Back at school, Sam is trying to swoon Quinn by offering to take her on a date to paint ceramic coasters, and even though Quinn is too weirded out by how similar their hair is, she hesitantly accepts. Okay, that might not actually be where the hesitance comes from, but seriously. They could be related.

Then Sir Sam gets his very first voiceover in which he tells us about how he believes Quinn’s really lame cover story about how she got mono. Still, he senses that he’s losing her and decided to swoon her the best way he knows how.

Rock and roll.

Except Sam is about as dumb as a rock or a roll (sans butter) so he decided to go the Justin Bieber route.  My answer to his voiceover question, “Who’s more rock and roll than Justin Bieber?” was, “My grandmother, for starters.”

Though Lil J does have some weird superpower over teenage girls, so maybe Sam’s not so dumb after all.

Meanwhile, Rachel is scolding Brittany for wearing leg warmers on her arms because she is supposed to be using Rachel’s clothes to start trends because Rachel is trying to out-desperate herself wants to be more popular.

After seeing Sue terrorizing students in the hallway, Will and Emma ask Sue what makes her happy and she said singing in her Le Car.  Emma decides she should sit with the Glee Club.  Will and Sue are hesitant. “I agree with Sponge Hair Square Chin, it’s a stupid idea!”  Oh, Sue. Eventually they agree. Sue will try it for a week.

Needless to say the Glee kids are not pleased.  Santana says the word “wanky” and I have no idea what it means but it made Sue make fun of her boobs again which then caused Santana to give one of her signature I’m-so-annoyed-and-disgusted-my-eyebrows-even-show-it looks, so I am in support of this new vocabulary word.

We discover that this year’s regionals – which will feature New Directions, The Warblers and Oral Intensity (hehe) – has a theme. Anthem.

Sam steps up and says that he thinks he has an anthem. Will says he didn’t even notice him there, which is how I feel the first time he speaks in every single episode.  Sam says first that he’s going to sing a Justin Bieber song, to which Quinn already can’t believe. Then he says that he thinks this song he’s going to sing is an anthem because it’s “hugely emotional and sums up our generation”.

I don’t know many Bieber songs but I couldn’t imagine any of them representing a generation. So I made this very face:

I was nervous for what was about to happen. Already embarrassed for our simple-minded friend.  Then, something strange happens. He starts singing the only Bieber song I know…and I start to like it. I was weirded out and confused but I found myself bopping along to this catchy tune and chuckling at the awkward dance moves.  The Girls of Glee are all loving this jam. So much, that some of them reach out for the person who this love song makes them think of:

And it’s official. I can’t hate a song that brings Brittana one step closer to admitting their undying love for each other.  So one point for the Biebs.  The boys were so impressed by the way this song made the girls go loco that they ask to be part of The Bieber Experience with Sam.  Except Finn. Who thinks this whole thing is ridiculous.

Then we pan to Rachel writing in her locker on her to-do list.  It literally consists of these things:

  • Celine Dion’s B-day!
  • Friend request Barbara Streisand again!
  • Ann Margaret in concert ❤
  • Avatar on ice audition
  • something about teaching toddlers something

Oh, Rachel. I love that nothing stops you from living in your own little world. However, when she puts her fuzzy pen down, she sees that the arm warmers trend has caught on and demands Brittany goes to Kids R Us immediately to remedy this situation.  Brit is instructed to come to school the next day wearing Rachel’s signature Sexy Schoolgirl Librarian Chic look and I just cannot not even begin to imagine what this will look like.

Later, Sue pretends to seek advice from Rachel and Mercedes about how to be a diva. Rachel says that sometimes the emotions are just so much that you have to make God-awful faces as though you’re having some sort of horrible gas pain and I laugh out loud because I love when this show makes fun of itself.  Sue pits the girls against each other by telling both of them the other insulted their level of diva-dom.  They decide to solve this the best way they know how: Diva-off.

The boys are Biebered out and Puck is even wearing an awful toupee thing to try to achieve the swooping hairdo the little legend regularly sports.  They sing a song that I had never heard and now hope I never hear the original version because it can’t possibly be this good. The girls are going wild and laughing up a storm.  Finn is the only one who still isn’t impressed.  Quinn is so enamored that she approaches Sam and confirms their date for Friday with more excitement this time.

Then up struts Santana in all her glory. She calls Sam Biebilicious as if it’s a good thing and then I started weeping so I’m not sure what else she said.

To add insult to injury they then show me Zizes wrestling and then asking Puck advice about singing. I cross all of my crossable extremities that this will not make me hate her more because I’m really trying to give her a fair chance, since it’s clear she’s not going anywhere any time soon.

Diva-off time! The girls choose one of the greatest diva songs of all time – Take Me Or Leave Me from the musical RENT.  It’s a personal favorite of mine, and though I wish it were being sung more in context (*cough* Brittana *cough*), I will never say no to a RENT song.  I also really like it when Lea Michele sings songs that were originated by Idina Menzel. It’s mind-trippy.

When it gets to the line, “Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me. Boys, girls – I can’t help it, baby.” Santana puts her hand up as if to say, “Trust.”  It was basically her coming out as bisexual. At least, that’s how I’m going to take it.

Anyway, the girls do well with the song but, much to Sue’s chagrin, end up laughing and hugging each other by the end.

Will sees how furious Sue is at this and decides to take her to the children’s ward at the local hospital.  I have no idea how this makes any sense at all but these poor children in long-term care singing This Little Light Of Mine can melt the heart of even the coldest person.

The next day at school, everyone is wearing Rachel’s signature look and they all think they look hot but they very much do not.  Though the hair down with the headband thing is a cute look on anyone, grandma sweaters tucked into skirts that go above the waist just don’t work for anyone.  Rachel is pissed that she’s not getting credited for this look and storms up to Brittany and whines about how she’s trying to make a comeback. Then Brittany says the smartest thing she’s said in quite a long time and asks, “What are you coming back from?”  Rachel doesn’t even know the answer to that one.

Then Lauren Zizes sings. Fortunately for her, there were redeeming qualities to this scene because her singing was HORRENDOUS.  Not that I think anyone can really singI Know What Boys Like” but good Lord it hurt. However, Brittany was dancing and Puck had told her to picture everyone in their underwear so that was funny. I got to see Santana’s sexy nighty, as well as laugh at Finn’s Power Ranger T-Shirt and (something I didn’t notice the first time around) Sue’s head-to-toe dominatrix get-up. Amazing.

Santana and Sam are in the library and Sam is doing dorky things so Santana tells it like it is. And is hilarious. Despite the fact that his “mouth-to-face ratio is, like, way off…” she knows that he’s actually a big dork and offers to help by having an affair with him.  “I wants on those froggie lips and I wants on them now.”  And I started weeping again but between sobs I heard her tell Sam to wise up about the ridiculous gumball story and to show Finn what he’s made of by hooking up with her. She ends with “think about it” even though I’m not sure what there is to think about.  I mean, come on.

After I recovered from my breakdown, Sue was telling Will that she had a REAL anthem for the Glee Club to sing and I didn’t know this song either and I really don’t know why everyone was in plaid, but I enjoyed it very much. It was a beautiful song, very well sung and it made it a lot easier to support my Brittana being gay theories with all that flannel.  Also, I mean, Sue was not only in a plaid track suit but was running around and singing and giddily pumping her fist in the air. You couldn’t help but get caught up in it all.

Back in the choir room there are disgraceful and dispicible things going on of which I shall not speak.

Will thanks Sue for that kick-ass anthem and Rachel comes up with what I thought was her best idea yet – that the Glee Club should write their own songs. I was ashamed to say I hadn’t thought of it first, and I was shocked to find that the rest of the club wasn’t as excited about it as I was sitting in my bedroom.  In fact, not one person supported this brilliant idea to give them a leg up on the competition.  I mean, have they HEARD Blaine sing?!  I know they’ve heard Kurt! Come on, people, we can’t let the absurdly named Oral Intensity beat us again!

I mean…you guys. Beat you guys again…

Eh hem.

And they didn’t even know yet that Sue is somehow coaching Oral Intensity because the rules of real life don’t apply to Sue Sylvester, or really to much of anyone in Lima, Ohio.

Finn tells Rachel that, though he didn’t have the balls to say anything earlier, he thinks singing an original song would be a great idea and thinks she should write one and show them how awesome it can be even though we have yet to see any evidence that Rachel would be any good at songwriting whatsoever.  But Finn’s a charmer and says exactly what Rachel wants to hear – that he thinks she’s making a comeback.

And scene.

Have I ever mentioned that I love when they change scenes or end episodes with the ringing of the school bell? I think it’s clever and very symbolic of transition and a helpful reminder that they’re in school since none of them ever attend any classes.

Next week on Glee: Rachel throws a party, Santana says “Santittany” [doesn’t she know Brittana flows much better?] and errrybody in the house is gettin’ tipsy.

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~ by Valerie Anne on 02/20/2011.

2 Responses to “Gleecap 2.13 – Comeback”

  1. A good recap once again. I’m glad to see that you don’t like Lauren as well (but that you are attempting to give her a fair shot).

    Next week should be ~interesting.

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