A Betrayal

Food.

That which I loved growing up.

That which I avoided in high school.

That which I scrounged for in college.

That which I enjoyed discovering in adulthood.

Food, with which I have a long and tumultuous relationship, is trying to kill me.

Everything I eat seems to cause this intense pain right below my sternum.  Just above my stomach, where I imagine there are some intestines hanging out.

It’s nothing gross. It’s literally just pain. But it fucking hurts.

People are saying I must be developing a gluten intolerance.

To which I declare, NO!

I refuse. Living a gluten-free existence sounds just plain awful.

No. There must be some other explanation.

In fact, it was only this suggestion that made me get over my overwhelming fear of doctors and the bad news they inevitably bear and make an appointment. I’d rather have some kind of flesh-eating virus that can be cured with a hearty dose of antibiotics than have a life-altering disease that will force me to give a second thought to EVERY SINGLE THING I ever put into my mouth ever again.

Also…ALSO! No more beer?! EVER?!

It just doesn’t make sense to me that literally one day I can be all glutenful and happy and the next day I start getting stomach aches at every meal.  There has to be some better explanation for this. Malaria maybe. Or a tumor.

Alas, until the mystery is solved, I am just keeping track of what may or may not be causing my pain.  Though as of right now there has been no discernible pattern.  So, I feel betrayed by the very thing that humans need to survive.  I just hope we can settle our differences soon.

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~ by Valerie Anne on 03/28/2011.

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