The Heart or the Hand

It’s difficult to maintain the upper hand when you wear your heart on your sleeve.

It’s a balance I have yet to find. You see, there are situations in which you purposefully do not attempt to have the upper hand. You don’t want it, and it’s obvious someone else does. You go with the flow. Everyone’s happy.

However, once in a while there are those situations in which you think, “You know what, I want the upper hand this time.”

The thing is, you can’t choose whether or not you wear your heart on your sleeve. Your heart is where it is. You can dress it up and disguise it, but it will still be there. Sometimes other people can’t see it when you camouflage it, so it gets hurt. Some people can see it, but it gets hurt anyway.

Since wearing your heart on your sleeve is not a choice, when you want to try to make the choice of having the upper hand, it becomes an issue. You see, you need both arms to maintain the upper hand. You need all of your strength and agility. But when you wear your heart on your sleeve, you can’t just throw your weight around. You have to protect your heart. It’s not all safe and nestled in a sturdy ribcage like everyone else’s. You can’t risk falling.

On the same token, if you have the upper hand, you can use it to shield your uncovered heart.  You can use it to thwart attacks if you use it right. It’s just so heavy.

So you try. You try to have the upper hand while protecting your heart, so prominently displayed upon your sleeve.  Eventually it becomes too hard. Either you realize that you’re off balance and put the upper hand back down again, letting someone else take it.  Or, sometimes, you become so off balance, that you put it down without even meaning to, as a reflex.  Then it’s nearly impossible to get back without some collateral damage.

Of course, in a good relationship – friendship, romantic relationship, whatever – there is no upper hand.  Hands are held and arms are kept safe. Burdens shared and balance restored.

Until then, you just have to make sure you don’t break. It’s better to never have the upper hand if it means keeping your heart safe.


~ by Valerie Anne on 05/09/2011.

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