Too Young To Feel This Old

Tonight I met up with friends I haven’t seen in about two years. They were the friends I went to college with – the college friends I had classes with. They were the ones I’d grab a drink with after class, but not necessarily the ones I had lunch with on the weekends.

I do love these girls, though. They’re loud and they’re fun and they’re hilarious and they’re smart. It just so happened that we were in/after class friends. To be fair, we all met our junior year, so we had our friends pretty much sorted out by then.

Tonight was a reunion set up by our professors so, sticking with tradition, we went out for a drink after. They’re still loud and fun and hilarious and smart. The only problem is, now they’re married and engaged. Or close to it.

It’s not that I’m not happy for them – I am. They’re absolutely amazing girls and they deserve every happiness they find in life. It just made me feel so…behind.

I’m usually the only single one in a group, and I’m okay with that. It’s the engaged/married that gets to me. Because I’m in no rush to get married. I have never been in a healthy, adult, long term relationship. Which is fine, but I’m not about to jump into marriage talk with the next decent person I meet just because I’m older. I’m still figuring my own life out, I’m not ready to settle down.

And I’m okay with that, I am. But nights like tonight make me wonder…is it NORMAL to be okay with that? SHOULD I be seeking a life partner right now? I feel like I have so much more learning to do before I’m ready to understand what love is.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s because I was “late to the game” as some of my friends put it.

All I know is that a LOT of my friends are engaged/married and it kind of blows my mind.

~ by Valerie Anne on 05/11/2011.

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