I hate watching bad movies.
Okay, I’m sure no one sits around like, “That movie was AWFUL. Yay!”.
I guess what I mean is…
I hate that feeling of having wasted time.
When the credits roll and you look at the clock and you think, “Is there any way to get that time back?”
Today I watched a really good movie, so it got me in the mood to watch another movie. I randomly selected one from my instant queue on Netflix and…fail. It was awful. I mean, it was cute enough, I guess. But I wish I had chosen another movie. Or cleaned my room.
I suppose it could have been worse. It could have been an awful movie. One of those movies that makes you want to pull your eyelashes out one by one. The only thing worse than an awful movie is seeing an awful movie in the movie theater. At least if you’re home, you can just stop watching. When you’re at the movies and you’ve shelled out enough money to put a down payment on a car, there’s no way you’re abandoning that seat, no matter what torture you are being put through.
I will admit, I’m very easy to please when it comes to movies. I can’t really drudge up a very long list of movies that I have ever wanted to walk out of the theater while watching. Unfortunately, I did have the displeasure of this experience this past Mother’s Day. And since I was with my mother, grandmother and aunt, and none of them seemed to want to gather up the popcorn and storm out, I was forced to withstand the horror.
This movie was called Something Borrowed.
I have never hated the existence of a movie so much in my life.
I literally scoffed audibly more than once. There were parts that I literally could no longer contain myself, and had to lean into my mother and hiss my disgust at something a character said or did.
The following week I was at the movies waiting for a friend to meet up with me, and I wanted to spend my extra time standing near the ticket line and begging people not to see Something Borrowed. I don’t want people’s minds filled with this filth. I wish I could unsee what I saw.
I hope no one with any sort of malleable young mind goes to see it – oh, the horrible lessons they’ll learn!
I can’t really bear to talk about the movie in any great detail. I’ve been told there is a book, though unless the moral/ending is drastically different, I doubt it’s any better. I will tell you that the overall message behind this movie was, love is more important than everything. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. According to this movie, romantic love is more important that friendship, it’s more important than fidelity, it’s more important than morality. Stealing your best friend’s fiance right out from under her nose and then totally shutting her out of your life even though you’ve known her since you guys were infants is totally fine if it’s for the right guy. TOTALLY FINE!
Okay, I’m going to need to talk about something else now because my eyes are going blurry from the fiery rage that just started bubbling up inside me.
Let’s talk about a good movie. Like Now & Then. There’s a movie that values friendship and recognizes it as an important and vital type of love. Or the Fox & The Hound. Where love brought two friends together against all odds! *wipes away tear*
I won’t lie, I don’t usually love romantic comedies. I have a few favorites, and I do tend to enjoy most of them up until the last ten minutes or so. Then I want to barf everywhere.
Some say it’s because I’m jealous or bitter. Some [re: my mother] say it’s because my heart is black and cold. I’d like to lean more towards the first one, if I had to choose. But I’d rather not choose either – there are love stories I enjoy! I don’t always hate the happily ever after! Some of my favorite movies have happily ever afters! Of course, some of my favorite movies also end in death, but some totally end in happiness. Just happiness that isn’t at someone else’s expense!! I want everyone to be happy or no one to be happy!
Okay, that’s probably a big fat lie. I think it was just the glorification of the betrayal that bothered me. I’ve just never been in a position where I had to choose between two people I love. I just can’t imagine doing that to one of my friends.
So, in conclusion, I much prefer movies that don’t suck.
Netflix, you owe me a few hours of my life back. Makers of Something Borrowed? You not only owe me hours, but you owe me the piece of my soul you took.