Listography

So, this one time in a bookstore I saw a book called “Listography: Your life in lists.”

I did not open this book, so I have no idea what kinds of lists it was referring to, but I like lists. I like sorting things. Also, my friend Christo calls me Listo, so Listography for me isn’t so much my life in lists as it is…my life. I had sent her a picture of this book cover with the question, “Is this a book on the study of my life?!”. I was sad to find it was not, but I do like lists, so let’s give it a shot, shall we?

Things it is impossible to look attractive while doing:

  • Brushing your teeth
  • Eating corn on the cob
  • Recovering from a stubbed toe

Snacks that almost definitely have cocaine in them:

  • Doritos
  • Goldfish
  • Popcorn

Technology that should totally exist by now:

  • Being able to remove your number from someone’s phone simply by removing THEM from your phone
  • Transporting food via the internet
  • Wifi on the subway [get some towers underground, people!]

People I’m pretty sure work for the devil:

  • The people who decided that 72 minutes was the maximum amount of time you were allowed to watch streaming videos on sites like Megavideo or Videoebb
  • Everyone who works for or at E! and all its affiliates
  • Whoever makes those “perforations” on the sides of cardboard boxes that don’t actually open your mac & cheese, but simply result in a sore thumb and possibly a broken nail

Things that should be free to certain people:

  • Chocolate, to women who are PMSing
  • Air conditioners, to people who live in old buildings that don’t have central air
  • Cheese, to me, always
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~ by Valerie Anne on 07/17/2011.

2 Responses to “Listography”

  1. Technology that should exist: cell phone reception in my town/ at my house.

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