Gleewind 2.05 – Rocky Horror Glee Show

Well, hello there, fellow Gleeks!

It has been quite a while since I’ve done one of these. Let’s see if I remember any of these characters’ names…

HAHAHAHAHA Like I haven’t been watching at least one Glee-related thing a day since the end of the season.

I’d also like to start off this Gleewind by telling you that I first saw this episode the way all Glee episodes should be seen – in a movie theatre. I got to see the screening the week before it aired, and it was a magical thing.

So imagine, we open on big, luscious red lips and hear Santana’s sultry voice – all larger than life.

It was heaven, really.

Once the crooning subsides, we pan to the McKinley High auditorium, which is decked out in an elaborate set, including a castle and some bushes and a faux storm is a-brewin’.

Now, we’re not told yet WHY they’re doing a Rocky Horror song, but I would assume Rachel and Finn were once doing something awkward and dorky and Mr. Schue was like, “Okay, Brad and Janet, let’s get back to…wait a minute…I HAVE AN IDEA!”

All of a sudden, Uncle Jesse storms in, clad only in leather, going on about “his girl”.  We freeze frame on Mr. Schuester’s odd expression and he takes us back a week, where this apparently all began.

You see, in the teacher’s lounge, William Schuester cannonballed from a little persistent to downright pathetic in ten seconds flat. In seeing how much fun Emma and the Dentist were having together, including at a performance of Rocky Horror, he totally spirals out of control.  It’s totally a Penelope situation. “Oh, Dr. Carl took you to see Rocky Horror? I invented Rocky Horror…sooo…”

Will goes on to talk about how he’s going to do Rocky Horror with the kids and I nearly die of second hand embarrassment.

As a segue into Mr. Schue telling the New Directions his horrible plan, Kurt asks Brittany what she’s being for Halloween. She answers, “a peanut allergy” and I spent the weeks until Halloween trying to figure out how to make that work. Because, I mean, PERFECT.

Casting goes out and Brad and Janet will play the roles of Finn and Rachel. Wait. That’s not right. No, no. That’s exactly right.

Then Schue is his predictable non-PC self, so Artie will play the guy in a wheelchair and he asks Kurt to play Frankenfurter. Surprisingly, our resident pretty boy doesn’t want to play a transvestite. Even more surprisingly, the one member of the Glee club [not including future members] who can’t sing offers to do it instead.

Columbia and Magenta will be doubled up among the remaining four girls and Sam will play Rocky – the “creature” aka live sex toy that Dr. Frankfenfurter creates.

Then Quinn explains to Sam what that means and my eyebrows nearly shoot off my face because I’m a theatre nerd and hadn’t seen RHPS until recently, so how the heck did the president of the celibacy club slash Ice Queen of Lima, Ohio come across it?


Rachel and Finn are rehearsing but Finn’s confused. However, he catches up when she hears Rachel say that they’ll have to be in their underwear for an entire scene. He’s uncomfortable with the idea,  but Rachel reassures him and climbs up his torso like a chimpanzee to give him a hug.

He still looks a little queasy.

Sue is carving a pumpkin in her office when she is approached by two men in black suits. No, no, they’re not the Men in Black, but they would definitely look familiar if you’ve seen the original Rocky Horror. They tell her that her “news” segment is awesome and that they think the news should be about fear. She turns around her intricate Sue-o-Lantern and asks how she can help.  They tell her, and it has something to do with her doing an exposé on the arts in public schools, but I stopped listening because I’m sick of Sue sabotaging the Glee club.

Just before we start rehearsing Damnit Janet, Brittany and Santana take to poking fun at Finn, saying they can’t wait to see him shirtless, because they’re sure it’ll be HIIIIlarious. I think at this point they start arguing over whether or not this is rude, but Santana started talking about her boobs and I got distracted.

They start the song and Santana is adorably helping Brittany follow along.

Everyone is in half-costume which just adds to the perfect awkwardness of this scene. Kurt and Quinn are SO good at the dead-pan zombie movements.

Sue pulls Will out of the rehearsal and says that she wants in. He never learns and asks her to join instead of realizing that her support is laced with ulterior motives.  She immediately mentions something about script edits and we know that this just can’t end well for anybody.

Sam is in the locker room basically explaining to the boys that he’s manorexic. Artie blames internet porn, but I’m pretty sure that the whole body-image warping because of porn only works for guys and their expectations for women. I’m no expert, but I thought male porn stars were supposed to be icky. I mean, I don’t have many points of reference, but the fact that Ron Jeremy is among them should be proof enough.

Will asks Mrs. Pillbury to be their costume director and, wide-eyed and excited as ever, she agrees. In trying to cover up her excitement, she blurts out “I’ve got the Carl” as if it’s a communicable disease. Mike Chang interrupts the awk-fest and says that his parents wouldn’t sign the permission slip, so they’ll be needing a new transvestite.

Sue’s news report she’s doing for the suits relies on this show going on, so she looks a little panicked when Will tells her they might have to cancel the show. She meets Uncle Jesse and convinces him to audition for the show.

Will doesn’t get it, so Carl explains, and I’m going to have to break this one down for you, because it’s comedic gold.

Uncle Jesse: You guys have a hole to fill and I’m just trying to help fill it.
Santana: Wanky.

Uncle Jesse pulls out his Beach Boy roots and rocks out to Hot Patootie. Everyone pairs off to dance together and it’s mostly predictable pairs…

Sue ends the cheeriness that immediately follows his superstar ending by pointing out that they need a Frankenfurter, not an Eddie. Uncle Jesse, always a family man, says that he doesn’t think it would be appropriate to be grinding all up ons the students. Lebanese or not, Santana and I agree that we wouldn’t mind dancing a number or two with this cutie patootie.

Before Carl and Will could actually whip them out and start measuring, Mercedes steps up and says that she really wants to play Frankenfurter. She’s always wanted a lead role and she thinks that she can modernize the songs.

As much as we all would have liked to see Emma’s boyfriend in drag, no one – not even Sue – opposes, so it is decided.

Cut to dress rehearsal – Finn’s asking if he can not get naked and Sam practically IS naked, and Will doesn’t really care about any of that. The show must go on, minors’ comfort be damned.

Mercedes absolutely kills it as Frankenfurter – girlfriend. is. fabulous.

Plus, she has sexy little wenches.

After the song, Eddie busts in on his motorcycle…two acts early.  Emma is overly appreciative, Will is decidedly not.

After school, Will pulls Emma into a classroom and tells her that he has made a little change to the show. Turns out, he did realize that student’s comfort levels should be taken into consideration, so he will be playing the part of Rocky. Even thought his means that Mercedes and Rachel will have to molest him.

I don’t think he thought this one all the way through.

However, he gets what he had been hoping for in his short-term vision of this announcement, because he convinces Emma to help him rehearse Toucha-Toucha-Toucha-Touch Me. Which…he says he needs to “have down” by the next day…but all he has to do is stand there and be groped, so I’m not sure why she fell for it. I think she secretly wanted to toucha-toucha him, too.

The overt sexuality between these two Sneaky McCheatersons is counterbalanced by the perfection that is Brittana.

While Emma is peeking at what’s under Will’s shirt, Santana and Brittany peek through the window.

While Emma is skipping the fact that she has a boyfriend and grinds upon Will, Santana and Brittany skip down the hallway.

It’s really a beautiful juxtaposition.

That is, until Emma realizes her hand is tangled in Will’s chest hair and she darts out of the room like she’s on fire.

Finn is trying to embrace his character and his body, and Sam tries to help. Finn misinterprets the message and decides to walk down the hallway in his underwear.

Look, no one ever tried to tell us that Finn was the smart one.

The principal wants to suspend him, but Will begs him to reconsider, as per usual.  His defense, however, is that last year after the Cheerios won nationals, Santana pantsed Brittany, who was wearing “a lot less than her underwear”. Figgins is all, “Okay, but that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard, and Finn being shirtless is exactly the opposite of that.”

Will beats him down into just giving Finn a warning, and asks Will to consider whether everything he’s risking for this show is worth it.

Now we’ve come full circle – the outburst from Uncle Jesse we saw in the beginning was in regards to the Toucha incident, which Emma told him in the spirit of full disclosure.  The Dentist calls Will out on all his shit and the Gleeks sense the tension and creep back down behind their respective piece of scenery.

While trick-or-treating [fruitlessly, because Will has been so consumed with his elaborate plan to rekindle his love life that he forgot to buy candy], Becky spills the beans about Sue’s secret news report, defaming the Glee club and their inappropriate choice of musical.

Unfortunately, Sue isn’t exactly wrong in what she had said, as sneakily as she was about saying it. Being right backfires on Sue, though, because Will decides to cancel the show. He realizes that this whole thing happened while he was having a jealous rage-blackout and apologizes to Emma.

He then apologizes to the whole Glee club, saying that he was wrong in thinking that it was about pushing boundaries. It wasn’t a place for rebels, it was a place for misfits. Like them.

Confused, Santana asks why they’re not performing it if it was perfect for the club.

Will corrects himself – they’re still doing Rocky Horror. Just not for anyone else.

And so, they Time Warp.

And may I say, Kurt was the perfect amount of creepy. Quinn was the perfect amount of sassy. Everyone else was the perfect amount of perfect.

Will and I applauded. I kept it together, but that big ol’ sap almost started weeping right there in the theatre.

Next time on Glee, hormones are raging and there are kisses to be had!

~ by Valerie Anne on 08/02/2011.

3 Responses to “Gleewind 2.05 – Rocky Horror Glee Show”

  1. OK, first of all, how is this the first comment on this gleewind!? Madness I tell you, madness.

    I have already expressed my jealousy that you got to see this on the big screen so I don’t think I have to again.

    Yes the toucha Brittana moments did need multiple gifs. I’d like to see the others if you still have them!

    Somehow I missed how hot Brittana were around Mercedes. This is something I’ll have to pay attention to during my next rewatch of season 2 of Glee!

    • When I watch episodes of Glee the first time, I try really hard to pay attention to who the camera wants me to be paying attention to, but I often see the show through Brittana-colored glasses. The subsequent times I watch, I don’t even bother pretended they’re not all I see.

      It’s a gift and a curse, really. 😛

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