He Said, She Said, I Said: Summer Girls

Once upon a time, this was the coolest song in all the land. I don’t remember if LFO had yet released their one other song, or if this was the one that started it all. Either way, it was the perfect summer jam, even though we could tell, despite being just youngsters ourselves, that 75% of this song made no sense whatsoever.

It does seem we have another case of, “who the bleep are you singing to”, but I’ll try not to dwell on that.

Yeah…I like it when the girls stop by.. In the summer
Do you remember, Do you remember?
…when we met..That summer??

Why are you talking like that? Are you high? I think you might be high. Anyway, I know you’re talking to me and not the girl you met, so snap out of it and tell me about that summer.

New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits.

Ok, that gives me a time frame. A fairly long time frame, but a time frame nonetheless.

Chinese food makes me sick.

Um. Random? Also, ew.

And I think it’s fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer.
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I’d take her if I had one wish.
But she’s been gone since that summer…
Since that summer.

I’m not sure what to do with this information. You started off sounding kind of douchey, what with the liking girls who are only around for a few months and wear a specific brand of clothing. But then you were kind of sweet and now I almost feel bad for you…

Hip hop, marmalade, Spic ‘n Span,
Met you one summer and it all began

Wait, wait. Back up. I’m getting the feeling that the verses are TO this girl, and the chorus is ABOUT her. Which, I mean, fine. But what was that you said about marmalade? And I was just assuming you threw a comma in there. There’s no way you said “hip hop marmalade”, right? RIGHT??

I’m just going to breeze on by the mention of the cleaning company.

You’re the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird, Jersey 33.

Were you speaking to Larry Bird just now? If not, I have no idea what he has to do with anything. If so, I don’t think he’ll like the fact that you called him a girl.

When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet.
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets.

Considering you obviously don’t have a solid handle on rhyming, as ‘hornet’ and ‘sonnet’ have completely different vowel sounds if you say them correctly, I have a feeling our dear William wouldn’t be too comfortable with you using a nickname for him.

Call me Willy Whistle cause I can’t speak baby.
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy.
Now I can’t forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back.

Other than the poor rhyming and the reference that was so obscure that Google can’t even tell me what the heck you were talking about, that was four lines of being almost romantic? sounding sort of sweet? making sense.

Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin was in Home Alone

And we’re back. Well, at least we can say that this summer had to have happened around 1991.

Fell deep in love, but now we ain’t speaking.
Michael J Fox was Alex P. Keaton.

Wait, wait, no. Now we’re back to the late 80’s. Are you sure you aren’t mixing up your summer girls? I really wish you would stop making random references and help fill in some of the missing plot.

When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

Well, at least now we know how the conversation STARTED. RIP Rich. Your pick-up line will go down in history.

Chorus

Cherry Pez, cold crush, rock star boogie
Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,
Always been hip to the B-boY Style
Known to act wild and make girls smile,

I mean, you were just talking about cherry pez. I think you’re too white to be hip.  Also, most people hate school. You didn’t have to play hookie.

Love New Edition and the Candy Girl.
Remind me of you because you rock my world.

I do happen to love that song. And the video is classic. Having a high-pitched voice is SO gangsta.  Also, the outfits. THE OUTFITS!

You come from Georgia where the peaches grow,
They drink lemonade and speak real slow.
You love hip hop and rock n roll.
Dad took off when you were 4 years old.

Whoa. You went from telling me nothing about her except that you loved and lost her to telling me her entire life story. I don’t even know this girl, I’m pretty sure her paternal status is irrelevant.

There was a good man named Paul Revere

I’m pretty sure that was even more irrelevant.

I feel much better baby when you’re near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

Oh, so you do actually know a lot about her. That’s actually kind of sweet. You guys should go drink cherry Coke and cherry Pez together.

Chorus

In the summertime girls got it going on,
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like,

Okay, I wouldn’t tell this part to that girl you’re trying to win back. Little tip: Girls tend to like to be your one and only.

I’ll steal your honey like I stole your bike.

Best. Song lyric. Ever.

Boogaloo shrimp and pogo sticks,
My mind takes me back there oh so quick.

I hope I’m never remembered by way of seafood. I don’t even WANT to know why pogo sticks take you there.

Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet.
Think about that summer and I bug, cause I miss it.

I had to Google Mr. Limpet, but now that ‘hook’ part is actually pretty clever. And I’m sure that’s the first time Mr. Limpet has ever been referred to as “my man” so I’m sure he appreciated it.

Like the color purple, macaroni and cheese,
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees.

I like these things too! Though if you could only take two things away from the Wizard of Oz, I find it interesting the trees made the cut.

Call you up, but whats the use?
I like Kevin Bacon, but I hate Footloose.

I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.

Came in the door, I said it before, I think I’m over you
but I’m really not sure.
When I met you I said my name was Rich.
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that, based on the fact that you’ve now constructed a small, poorly written novel about this girl, you are definitely not over her. Also, again, your pickup line was not exactly groundbreaking. No need to keep repeating it.

Chorus

In the summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so.

Words of wisdom. I thank you.

Summertime girls got it going on
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I’ll steal your honey like I stole your bike

I’m so happy we revisited this again before closing out. I laugh aloud every time I hear those words uttered, and I hope that never changes.

LFO, you might have done a large amount of drugs before you wrote your songs, but gosh if we didn’t gobble them up and put them on repeat.

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~ by Valerie Anne on 08/10/2011.

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