Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

I don’t understand what Hollywood’s obsession with cheating is.

There are so many interesting/dramatic things that go on in people’s lives, it’s really not necessary for every other movie to involve a heavy cheating storyline. Something Borrowed glorified cheating, and we all know how much I hated that movie. Tonight I watched The Kids Are All Right and that cheating just made me sad.  I get it, sometimes it’s interesting to explore. But I feel like it happens so much.

Does it happen that much in real life?

I feel like in movies and on television, there’s no such thing as a monogamous relationship.

In my adult life, I’ve never been in a serious relationship where we agreed not to see other people.

Is it possible? Does it work?

My parents got married in their 20s, they’ve been married my entire life. I don’t know of any unfaithfulness, nor do I want to if it exists/existed. So maybe I was spoiled. Maybe that’s why I didn’t notice until I was old enough to watch movies of all maturity ratings. I didn’t notice that cheating was such a major focus of so many things.

I would be lying if I said I’ve never kissed someone who was in a relationship. I’m not saying I’m immune to cheating. I’ve never been in the position where I was dating someone and met another person I was attracted to.  I’m also only 24. I just can’t wrap my head around the idea of being married to someone – married – pending years of your life with them. Then start sleeping with someone else and coming home to your spouse night after night. Lying to them night after night.

The prevalence of cheating in the media is making me wonder if it’s an accurate portrayal of the prevalence of cheating in the world.

It makes me nervous.

I don’t know that I could ever get over it if someone cheated on me. I don’t think I would ever be able to trust them again. I don’t know.

I was home for the summer in 2006 when Rihanna’s song Unfaithful came out. My mother actively hated this song. I loved the melody and the sound of it – it had a beautiful sadness to it.  However, I agreed with her point.  She made this point for the first time after it had been out for a little while. I’m not sure if we had even ever heard it together yet, but we were sitting in the car and it came on and she groaned and mentioned that she hated the song. I told her I thought it was really pretty. She told me it wasn’t the song itself as much as the lyrics. I paused to listen for a moment and it gets to the point, “I don’t wanna do this anymore…” and my mother just yells at the radio: “Then DON’T! Don’t do it! Stop!”

I’m pretty sure I laughed for the rest of the song. But she’s so right. Rihanna is trying to make me sad for her, like oh my goodness I love this man so much but I just keep cheating on him over and over again. I feel so bad that I’m hurting this guy. Okay, Riri, no one is forcing you to do this. You have a choice. You have options, even! You could break up with your manwhore [what do you call a male mistress??]  and stay with your boyfriend. You could break up with this poor fool who obviously doesn’t care very much that you’re cheating on him (since he knows it very well)  and go with your new lover. You could break up with them both and do some much-needed soul searching.

But the power is in your hands, and there is no need to bring guns into the picture.

I don’t know what my point is. I think my point is that I wish the media would stop trying to make cheating seem like it’s normal and common and fine. I wish I wasn’t reminded of how much people can suck at every turn. I don’t want to be any more afraid to be in a relationship than I already am.

One of my favorite quotes about cheating comes from another song:

“Is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face? I guess the answer is, don’t do it in the first place.”

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~ by Valerie Anne on 08/20/2011.

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