Gleecap 3.03 – Asian F

AKA The One That Made Me Like Songs I Previously Thought I Hated

We open on Booty Camp. Mercedes is late. Will is not happy.

But oh! Santana is back. In one [sassy] line, we learn that she has pledged her allegiance to the Glee club. Secretly. Felt a little like an “oops just kidding, forget we did that” moment to me.

Mike tries to help Mercedes catch up, but just a few steps in, she has to stop because she feels sick. After a little quip-fest with Santana, who is sick of Mercedes being babied, about their eating habits, Will jumps in and says it’s not about food, it’s about attitude. He puts on his Crazy!Face and tells Mercedes she MUST. BE. BETTER.

The next morning at the Schuester residence, Will and Emma are playing house. Schue had found a box in the closet proving that Emma is a wedding hoarder and so he offers her his porn collection.

Wait, what?

Yeah, that’s really what happened. Excuse me while I pull a Mercedes go vomit everywhere.

The gist of the rest of this scene, at least what I gathered between dry heaves, is that Will wants to meet Emma’s parents, but Miss Pillsbury isn’t too keen on the idea.

I would like to take this moment to say that I do ship Wemma. It’s a small ship – more like a rowboat, really – but it’s there, probably leftover from all that built up chemistry from years past. They’re both a good mix of crazy and sweet that seems to work well together. However, they have both been somehow infantilized and made to be the “parent” characters in my mind, so I do not want to see them having/talking about/considering any kind of sexual situations whatsoever.

Moving on.

Mike Chang and his dad are in the principal’s office. You see, Mike got an A-, which means he is obviously on drugs and will therefore not get into Harvard. Even though this is a gross exaggeration, I get where they’re going with this. It’s stressful to have parents who have high expectations.

For once, Figgans isn’t the worst adult in the room and asks if maybe he’s putting too much pressure on our dancer friend. Mr. Mike blames the girlfriend and the principal goes right back into who-lets-this-man-run-a-school mode and says that he’s right, Tina is a vampire.

Chang Senior suggests, also, that he quit Glee club, since it’s a “waste of time”, but Mike goes into panic mode and begs for one last chance.

Back in the locker room, Beiste tells the guys that they have to learn a dance for West Side Story in just a few days, so they all look to Mike for help, who looks like he’s one straw short of breaking his camel-y back.

In the cafeteria, Mercedes’s new beau is telling her that she should be pulling Rachel’s hair and clawing her eyes out instead of hugging her before the auditions for Maria.

To which I say, NO! Good sportsmanship, for the win! Hugs for everyone!

Sadly, Mercedes took her oaf’s advice instead and sings a sassy song about living in the spotlight, which also ends up being her audition song.

The judges are acting like Mercedes has never belted a song like a powerhouse before, and Rachel even looks spooked. She slinks off into the shadows, a worried expression on her face.

Kurt is wandering the halls with Rachel, passing out buttons for his candidacy. He’s convinced he has this in the bag, since no one takes Britt-Britt seriously. Santana and Brittany pop up and ask Rachel if she’s really going to let another boy be in charge, considering it hasn’t done them much good thus far. In fact, to make their point about girl power, Brittany dons a leather skirt and turns half of McKinley lebanese for a few minutes.

Santana swoons all over the place and even joins in to support her girl.

Everyone joined in, really! It was a dance orgy!

Kurt is the only one who didn’t seem to enjoy this performance, as he looks like a deer caught in really big, bright headlights.

The Drama Judges are having a hard time choosing between Mercedes and Rachel for the part of Maria, so they’re having the girls re-audition using the song Out Here On My Own (despite Rachel’s second attempt to sing I Feel Pretty for us again) from Fame.

Rachel tries to hug her fellow diva again in support, but this time the Tot Queen isn’t having any of it. She’s full of a cockiness that Emma seems to think is new, but I find annoyingly familiar.

Mike is on his way to meet his tutor when he is drawn into an empty dance classroom like a moth to a flame. He dances and battles with his inner conflict in the form of his father being disappointed, calling dancing a waste and Tina telling him he’s beautiful and perfect and that he IS dance.

We see who won the battle as he rushes into the auditorium to audition for Riff – a part that’s not just dancing. Turns out he’s been working on his singing. A lot. To the point where I found myself liking yet another West Side Story song that I had previously held a bit of contempt for. The football boys join in his dance and even though they can’t compare to Mike, they’re such…BOYS that it’s adorable. The judges are impressed and Mike declares his love for dance once and for all.

Outside, Kurt runs into Blaine and offers him a bouquet of flowers to congratulate him on being the obvious best choice for Tony, to sort of bow out of the competition, to tell him he’s okay with it if his boyfriend gets the part instead of him. Blaine looks at him adoringly and you can tell he wants nothing more than to kiss him – or at least hug him – but he looks around and places a loving hand on his shoulder instead, smiling as they exit together.

Booty Camp has grown in number yet again, with Brittany now being in attendance. Will raises as eyebrow and asks her why the best dancer in the world school is at a dance camp and she says because she wants to be with her girlfriend always dance her way into the voters’ hearts.

They have to do one dance move over and over until they do it right, and everyone is quickly tapped out except Finn and Mercedes. Finally Finn gets it, but Mercedes is whining and complaining. Will tries to push her through it, but Mercedes looses her cool. She calls him crazy and literally starts to spew insanity all over the place. She says she’s outgrown the New Directions and Will warns her that if she leaves, she can’t come back.

Then, my friends? Then, we songfight.

In this vision that Mercedes has, Santana snaps at her for being late and cranky and just overall bad at life.

Mercedes retorts with a comment about how Santana is “knocking off that piece”, meaning Brittany, and that she’s not as cool as she thinks she is just because she’s running for president. Santana doesn’t look shocked by this outing [probably because it’s imaginary] but instead looks defensive of her girl.

Mike is back in the dance room and his mother shows up – this time, his family member is not in his imagination. He confesses to his mother that dancing is all he ever loved. Surprisingly, she’s on his side with this. She wants to support him and help him follow his dreams. She’ll help him deal with his father and since I don’t think this position was given to anyone yet officially, she snags the trophy for Best Glee Mom. Mike then waltzes his mom around the dance floor and they all live happily ever after.

Oh, wait, just kidding, there’s more.

It’s time for yet another Diva-off! Puck’s description is accurate when he calls it a “clash of the titans” and both girls effortlessly make that song their bitch.

Brittana finds it all very romantic.

When it’s over, it seems to be the general consensus that Mercedes was better, but I’m not sure I agree. They were both amazing, but even Rachel said Mercedes was better. This shakes her to her very core and she later storms straight through the boys’ locker room and into Beiste’s office, saying they need to talk.

That night, Emma comes home to find out that Will has surprised her by inviting her parents over for a surprise dinner. Emma starts chugging wine coolers and tells him that the reason she didn’t want him to meet them is because they are The Worst. They are obsessed with red-heads and just cruel about Emma’s OCD. Hopefully this will teach Will that TALKING about things is probably better than just going behind someone’s back. Because sometimes, the world doesn’t actually revolve around you.

The next day at McKinley, Kurt confronts Rachel about the fact that she’s now running for President, too. She’s starting to panic about padding her resume, but Kurt points out that she has destroyed a friendship for the sake of getting into a made-up school. Plus, his election could mean change. Tolerance. Goodness. Hers would just mean…*shudder* I don’t even want to think about what would happen if she was in charge.

The Judges tell Rachel and Mercedes that they’re double-casting Maria. They were both offered a full weekend of 6 performances each. Rachel accepts this graciously, but Mercedes is an all or nothing kind of girl. Instead of sharing the spotlight, which is still more than she’s gotten and one step closer to what she wants, she quit altogether.

Rachel tells Finn that she still might run for president, even though she got the part, which puts him in a difficult place, being asked to choose between his brother and his girlfriend. I say this means he should vote for Brittany, but he seems torn and leaves Rachel standing in the hallway by herself, feeling a little alone in this whole situation.

At bedtime, Emma is back in an OCD-induced panic in the aftermath of her parents’ visit. She kneels down to pray in a heartbreaking attempt to gain control and receive help, and Will doesn’t know what to do but to kneel down next to her and sing a Coldplay song.

Artie posts the cast list for West Side Story. Blaine is Tony, Mike is Riff and Santana is Anita.

The New Directions dress all in white and sing backup for Schue…

…while Mercedes finds Shelby and asks her if she can join her rival Glee club.

Dun, dun, dunnn!

Next week…I have no idea. I have no idea what happens next week because it has been a damn month since this episode aired. November 1st will be a beautiful day. I’m pretty sure the entire episode could be the New Directions banging on trash cans and drumming on street lights and I would be jumping up and down and clapping giddily.

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~ by Valerie Anne on 10/26/2011.

2 Responses to “Gleecap 3.03 – Asian F”

  1. Unf is definitely the word. For me, that was a Brittana episode with a little bit of Mike thrown in, and your gleecap reflects that. Mercedes was dead to me after her boyfriend whose name I oddly can’t remember told someone who isn’t Santana that she’s the one to beat [for singing]. Also? Effy beats Beyonce’s character hands down. Jennifer Hudson got a bloody Oscar for God’s sake. Yes Beyonce is the lead of Destiny Child but she’s not the lead of Dreamgirls. But then, I’ve hated Mercedes identifying with Beyonce since the pilot, this just added coal to the fire.

    In answer to your question, I’m positive that the girl in black is Courtney Galiano. I may or may not have watched the segment where that smitten girl hands the goddess that is Brittany the microphone a few million times to try and catch a glimpse of that girl in black’s face, and yeah I’m utterly convinced it’s her. If they don’t get her joining either New Directions or Shelby’s rival group I think I’ll cry.

    What’s happening next week? Candyman is happening next week. Also? Mercedes possibly tells Santana she needs her time to shine too (I only watched the preview once but I’m pretty sure it was along those lines). Another Mercedes and Santana duet i.e. the two best singers in that goddamn school showing what’s what. If Britt doesn’t follow her girl to the rival group I’ll pout for most of the episode. But I guess that’ll add to the drama. .

    This doesn’t really need saying but… GREAT RECAP!!!!

    • I’m glad we’re on the same page! (As usual!)

      I just looked up Courtney Galiano and realized that before she was Mack, she was an uncredited backup dancer. I think the fact that they gave her a name means she might be back again.

      I’m excited for the Mercedes/Santana duet(s), but I really need Santana to have another solo song real fast. Or a proper duet with Brittany [aka not just both of them singing backup with Holly].

      Thanks for reading! 🙂 Can’t wait til next week! [5 more days!]

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