Because I Care
She climbs into bed and draws me close to her, pulling the covers over us both and wrapping her arms around me.
She’s been doing that a lot lately. Holding me tight as she falls sleep. Both arms cradling me, her head resting gently on top of mine. I wouldn’t be able to escape her grip if I wanted to.
Not that I’d want to. I belong where she needs me. But I have noticed the change. She might not even have noticed it. She might not feel the desperation in her grasp. She might not realize how her muscles don’t relax until she’s totally asleep.
Though, I’d rather her like this than how it was before. It was pretty bad for a while. Instead of just clinging to me for dear life, she’d cry. I’d feel her body shake and tremble as she fell asleep, feeling her tears spill onto my head.
Those were rough years, not being able to do anything for her. Feeling her heart break and only being able to let her hold me.
The past few years have been a lot better than that. It’s just lately… lately I’ve been worried. We’ve been through everything together. From awful nightmares to impending stresses, dark nights to scary movies. She’s told me her deepest secrets, shared her biggest fears. I’ve always been there for her, to love her, to care for her. I always will be.
I just hope that someday, when she crawls into bed and pulls the covers over her…I hope that there will be someone there that can hold her back.