Moments of Clarity

For the past week or so, my contacts have been having some serious issues. My allergies attacked them one day and I haven’t been able to find any replacements, so they have been blurry and irritating. Increasingly so. The first few days involved a lot of blinking, and going to the bathroom to splash water in my eyes. One day, I borrowed eye drops from a coworker and that seemed to be working out. But then it was down to nearly constant blurriness, despite how often I tossed my head back and squired contact solution in my eyes. To the point where, at work, I had to re-position my my computer and keyboard so that I could sit closer to the screen and squint at it to make out what I was doing.

Walking home from work with blurred vision is a strange feeling. Since I walk these same streets every day, I don’t need to read street signs, making navigating just a matter of avoiding the blobs of color coming at me. It wasn’t blurry enough to need help getting around, but enough that it was frustrating.

Sometimes, just as I started to get use to the fog, suddenly everything would come into focus.

Sometimes in moments of sadness. Sometimes after I took action. But sometimes at an unexpected moment.

These moments of clarity were generally brief, but clear enough to let me see what I was doing or where I was going, at least for the immediate future. I could take in everything around me and hold on to that image, even when things went hazy again.

I learned it’s not necessary to see everything all the time. You adjust and adapt. Or if you can’t, you make a change. You also learn what works for you.

Something might not be the most ideal situation – like wearing your old glasses – but sometimes it’s what you need to do. You suck it up and you make do – but you also make a plan. You make the doctor’s appointment, you make plans to fix things.

When everything around you is unclear, when you can’t see very far, you learn to focus on what you CAN see. You focus on what’s right in front of you, you find out that you don’t need to see every detail of the sidewalk in front of you to have an idea of what’s coming. Yes, it’s nice to be able to read the billboard across the street, but in those instances that you just can’t make it out? You’re going to be okay.

~ by Valerie Anne on 04/21/2012.

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