An Open Letter…To Myself

Hey you (errr…me?),

I don’t know if I’ve told you this lately, but you’re doing alright.  I know sometimes you question that. Mostly when other people question it.

Okay, so you’re not doing what you went to school for. Yes, you’ll be paying those student loans for the rest of your life. But it’s still a solid background to have, right? You learned a lot about people in your studies – both humans in general and children – that will (and do) come in handy as you go about your life. You also had to write a lot. About a lot of different things.

Think about it – if it wasn’t for that one class in grad school, would you even realize how talented you are? DO you even realize how talented you are? People like your writing.

You’re passionate. When you feel things, you feel them with your whole being. And you share them with other people, and that makes you brave. Your opinions might not ring true to everyone who hears them, but that doesn’t matter to you. As long as you’re being honest, you’re willing to stand firm with your opinions, and that’s admirable. There was a time when you wouldn’t voice your opinion unless you were sure it would be universally accepted by your audience, remember? Remember all those times you shook your head fervently and muttered, “No, you’re right” when you realized you were the only one that felt that way? Look at how far you’ve come!

You still have a lot to learn. But you know that. And that’s half the battle. You’re open to learning and growing, and that’s so important.

I have some advice for you, if you don’t mind me saying it. I know you don’t like people telling things you already know, but I really need you to hear this. You have some really great dreams. Dreams that aren’t all that unrealistic. But you have to be active.

You’re waiting. You’re planning. You’re not doing.

You know that email you’ve been meaning to send to that website? The one asking what it would take to work for them? The one asking what advice they can give on heading in that direction, or a similar one? The one that makes you dizzy with nerves just thinking about it? Draft it. Send it. What’s the worst that can happen? Rejection hurts, especially when it’s regarding something you hold so dear to you, but no one can tell you not to chase this dream. No one can make you stop writing. (And honestly, I don’t think anyone would try.)

You know that story you’ve been planning? You started to write it once, but your iPod deleted it and you took it as a sign. That’s stupid. It wasn’t a sign. It was technology sucking. It does that sometimes. Start it again. You might not have the whole thing planned out, it might not ever become a cohesive story, but damnit how will you know if you don’t at least TRY?

You have some really great dreams. Go chase them. You’ve done it before. You set your heart on New York and here you are. (And doing a pretty kickass job of being here, if you ask me.) So it’s time to go after the next dream.

No one ever said you’re only allowed one dream come true per lifetime.

There, that’s all. For now. Thanks for listening. We should do this a little more often, don’t you think?

I love you! (Sorry if I don’t say that enough.)


PS. Just a suggestion, if you take one hour per night that you spend dicking around on the internet and use it as “work” time, you’d probably actually start getting shit done. 🙂

~ by Valerie Anne on 05/18/2012.

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