He Said, She Said, I Said: U + Me = Us (Calculus)

I got the idea to do a He Said, She Said for this song when my friend Christo started taking a Calculus class this past summer. As ridiculous and absurd as this song is, I still get it stuck in my head anytime someone mentions the subject, so it must have done something right.

And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done the hand motions to this song at someone for one reason or another in the past year.

So, here it is, the classic song by the infamous 2Ge+her, U + Me = Us (Calculus). [There were may too many symbols required in the writing of that band name/song title, if you ask me.]

I’m losing my hair
and my vision is shady
Last night I dreamt
of an over weight lady

Um. Hi, nice to meet you. Also, gross. TMI.

But I need a young thang
to keep up with my pace
to hold me in her arms
and take me straight to second base.

How romantic. Especially considering you just told me you were extremely shallow, don’t expect that to be me. I could have overlooked the balding and going blind, but everything else was just…no.

I know my calculus
it says u + me = us
Sing it Chad for me
I know my calculus
it says u + me = us

That, sir, is not calculus. At best, it’s arithmetic. But really it’s not even English.

Girl, algebra, trigonometry
can never equal up to what you do to me
so, let’s integrate
don’t differentiate
If you were in my class
there ain’t no way I could pass

I’m pretty sure having me in your class to tell you the answers is the only way you’d pass any class.

I hate english,

This has been evident.

& not to mention
I can’t even afford to pay my attention
(can’t pay my attention)


not even philosophy can ever come between us,

Do you even know what that word means?

but we will always have our calculus.

I think we’ve established that we never had calculus in the first place.

I know my calculus
it says u + me = us
I know my calculus
it says u + me = us

Even if I dismissed the false label, “u” + “me” = ume. Which isn’t even a word. If you had gone with “you” and “me” that would at least actually mean “us”, at least grammatically.

Calculus, calculus
Go go go go go
Ooh baby, oh lord
U + me = us

Well I’ve never been good at history
& I don’t give a crap about Robert E. Lee
When it comes to cosines, I know a thing or 2

*Facepalm* Are you relate to LFO?

& I kicked ass on the test about me & you

Somehow, I HIGHLY doubt that. Considering your complete disregard for the English language.

I know my calculus
it says u + me = us
I know my calculus
it says u + me = us

U, plus sign, me, equal sign, us
U, plus sign, me, equal sign, us
U, plus sign, me, equal sign, us

Still. Not. Calculus. 

Girl, no subject comes close to you
2gether, sing it

Nor may you ever come close to me. Thank you and good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

~ by Valerie Anne on 09/24/2012.

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