Walrus Problems

Same as the last post, this is something I wrote as a writing sample months ago, but I figured I’d post it anyway. I haven’t heard anything about One Million Moms lately, but I’m sure they’re squawking about something. 

Clearly the people behind One Million Moms have never heard the phrase, “choose your battles”. They seem to pick up their pitchforks and torches and run screaming at everything they see.

When I first saw this on Gawker, I thought it had to be a joke or an exaggeration. So, I moseyed on over to the OMM website – and, sure enough, it was real. Right between a call to ban “ABC’s Evil ‘666 Park Avenue’” for its demonic ways and a plea to abolish the latest Ragu commercial that portrays a little boy catching his parents in “the act” (and only implying as much). There it was, a post asking for support to get the most recent Skittles commercial off the air. The one with the girl making out with the walrus.

Now, if they were like “We need to ban this Skittles commercial, ‘cause, ew”, I’d sign my name anywhere they asked me. It’s pretty icky. But they had to take it that extra step and make it sound like Skittles was using this commercial as a platform for bestiality and that their children might start to question their feelings for the animals at Sea World if they don’t stop airing it.

Honestly, I think if this one candy commercial makes your kid start thinking dirty thoughts during Free Willy, you have bigger issues than what they’re watching on TV.

I seriously wonder what executives do when they see these emails from what I can only imagine are extremely bored stay-at-home moms whose kids watch a lot of television. Moms who are driving their kids to practices and rehearsals and such probably don’t have a lot of time to sit around writing emails to every single television network about every other show or commercial they choose to air.

I also imagine their snacks, dinners and outfits are extremely limited, considering all the brands, franchises and stores they boycott. And what the heck are they watching? The news? Because that’s all kinds of graphic and violent. And not in the fun Pretty Little Liars, girls-getting-run-under-by-cars-and-roofied-and-poisoned-and-kidnapped-and-stuff way.

Also, if we’re in the business of getting ads taken down because they’re gross or weird, can we talk about that commercial with the giant, creepy, cross-eyed tree?

Maybe I’m too desensitized by the media. Is this ad offensive? Am I so naïve that I’m missing the blatant disrespect for the long-standing tradition of humans being romantically involved solely with other humans? Does anybody take One Million Moms seriously?

~ by Valerie Anne on 02/08/2013.

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