Warnings for My Future Girlfriend

I actually got this idea from an old Thought Catalog post as well, so I thought I’d try my hand at it. My future girlfriend might not exist, but here are some things she should know about what she’d be getting herself into…And actually, these are not so bad for my friends, present and future, to know.

  • I bump into things a lot and even fall down sometimes. Don’t worry too much about it.
  • When I do fall down, don’t make a big deal about it. Beyond “are you okay?”, no more attention is immediately required. Please join in my efforts to laugh about it and changed subject as quickly as possible. Unless I’ve been particularly annoying that day and you’d like to see me cry.
  • I channel my emotions though fiction. Something might happen in my real life that upsets me and I won’t shed a single tear, but a Hallmark commercial will make me weep openly. This doesn’t mean I’m not hurt or sad or sensitive.
  • On that note, I don’t cry happy tears. Ever. Don’t take it personally. Except when I’m making fun of you for doing it.
  • My family means the world to me, and they are a loud, crazy, hilarious bunch. If you don’t like them, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Or do.
  • If it were up to me, music would be playing all the time everywhere.
  • I want to hold your hand. I probably won’t take your hand in mine, because I have an overwhelming fear of rejection, but more often than not, I want to hold it.
  • I have a terrible memory. This doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening, it ESPECIALLY doesn’t mean I don’t care about what you said. I am notorious for my forgetfulness, just ask my family. (Though, on the other hand, I’m very good at memorizing written lists when asked to. And if you put it to music, I’ll never forget it.)
  • I watch way too much TV. But you can learn a lot about me if you pay attention to which storylines and characters I am most drawn to.
  • I’m probably going to write about you. I’ll definitely tweet about you, will probably post about you, and might even incorporate aspects of you or our relationship into fiction stories I write someday. I can give you code names on twitter or in my blog if you want, but it’s going to happen.
  • If I love a movie, I could watch it a million times. I want to watch my favorite movies with you, and I want you to show me your favorite movies, too.
  • I like to sing and dance around the apartment, but I’m not particularly good at either. Enjoy the absurdity.
  • I barely know how to be an adult. I’ll probably ask you a lot of questions you think are stupid questions, like how long to cook chicken to make sure I don’t get salmonella or what do you even DO with kale. But I just want to learn.
  • I am a very loving and caring and affectionate person, but I don’t tell people I love them all willy nilly. If I say it to you, I mean it.

~ by Valerie Anne on 02/26/2013.

One Response to “Warnings for My Future Girlfriend”

  1. I like this idea.

    Agree on the tv, music, fave movie, and family thing. If you do not like my family then get the fcuk out. But I do cry at happy moments.

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